


Under The Sun

by monochromee



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Unrequited Love, everything is depressing, there's olivia x hyunjin if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 22:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14757416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monochromee/pseuds/monochromee
Summary: Hyunjin wished for a lot of things. One of them is to be with Heejin forever. But the disease she has is making it hard for her to stay.





	Under The Sun

Looking at the sunset has always been Heejin and Hyunjin's thing. When they were kids, they would sneak out of their house just to watch the sunset by the riverside together with linked hands. They would get in trouble after but it was always worth the trouble. It was the only time where Hyunjin get to stare at Heejin for such a long time anyway. Whenever they watch the sunsets, Hyunjin would always wish something but there's always that one wish that Hyunjin often says a lot. The wish was being able to stay by Heejin's side forever. It's not impossible for sure. They've been friends since the beginning of time, there's no way they would be separated. Of course there would always be that one thing that gets in Hyunjin's way.

She was hopelessly in love with Heejin.  _Her best friend._ What would Heejin say when she finds out? Heejin is definitely not into girls and even if she was, she wouldn't be interested in  _Hyunjin_. Sure Hyunjin was incredibly pretty, smart, athletic, and almost perfect but she's probably not Heejin's type for a girlfriend. Heejin likes nice people, someone who she can lean on and trust, someone she can learn from, someone who can inspire her, and definitely someone that's not Hyunjin. Heejin didn't actually say that, that was only in Hyunjin's head. But what if it was true? Hyunjin feel the petals in her throat threatening to come out but she had to control it. She can't throw up petals in front of her friends!

 **"I can't wait for school to be over!"** Heejin says, taking a bite of Hyunjin's home made brownie. It was good, as expected from her best friend. Hyunjin loved cooking more than anything and she always gets happy whenever Heejin enjoys the food she makes. These days, she can't enjoy eating at all. Ever since she got the Hanahaki disease, nothing has been the same for her. Whenever she coughs, there would be blood and some small petals. She is forced to hide them because she didn't want anyone to see them. Not Yeojin. Not Choerry. And certainly  _not_ Heejin, the cause of it all. Hyunjin looked out the window of the fast food restaurant they were in and saw the sunset. It was beautiful as usual but she couldn't enjoy it. Not as much as she used to.

 **"It's so pretty today."** Gowon exclaimed, also looking at the sunset. All of them were looking at the sunset and each one of them had different thoughts about it. Gowon thought that it was prettier than usual. Maybe she never actually noticed how pretty it always looked until today. Olivia almost didn't care but she gave this one a chance because of Gowon. It really was nice. Olivia wondered why she never bothered to look at it. Choerry always thought that it looked pretty and never actually gave it a deeper thought. She never does. Yeojin was having mixed feelings about the sunset today. One of them was warmth. She could feel the sun's warmth through everything and it made her feel so relaxed. For the first time since high school started. Heejin, as always, never thinks about anything while looking at the sunset. She doesn't want to be distracted while watching a beautiful scenery.

Hyunjin was the only one who used all of her brain power to think about the sunset. Gowon was right, it was prettier than usual but just like Choerry and Heejin, she didn't want to think about it too much. Two reasons: one is because she didn't think that the sunset today didn't mean anything and second is because for the first time in forever, she didn't care. Hyunjin stared at the sunset with a brain full of thoughts and a heart filled with nothingness as she made her wish once again.  _'Let me stay by Heejin's side forever. But if I die midway, then at least let me die after a long time of being with her.'_ Hyunjin thought and closed her eyes. After a few minutes, Hyunjin opened her eyes and turned to look at Heejin, only to see the bunny loving girl smiling at her. Hyunjin blushed and felt her heart melting. But the flowers in her keep growing and it was almost suffocating her.  _'Oh Heejin... You make me want to live forever but if you're being like this... I'll die very soon.'_ Hyunjin thought and forced a smile towards Heejin.

 **"Hyunjin, do you want to hang out after this? Let's play with Heekki!"** Heejin beams, clinging on Hyunjin's arm. Hyunjin blushed harder and looked away, trying to think of an answer fast. Olivia noticed how Hyunjin acts so timid and awkward around Heejin these days but chose to not give it much of a thought. It's Hyunjin, she's very complicated so Olivia doesn't bother with her life.  **"Sure..."** Hyunjin said. Oh of course Hyunjin would give up like that, she's against Heejin's cuteness for Pete's sake!  **"You guys never include us in your fun hangouts!"** Yeojin complains, pouting while Choerry pats her head. Heejin and Hyunjin look at them and back at each other. Then they smiled, they know they have the same plan.  **"Then, all of you guys should come with us! A sleepover right before our final exams! That should be fun."** Heejin said and laughed with Hyunjin. The other girls just agreed, they had nothing else to do and they really did want to be with 2jin for the night.

* * *

 

All of them separated ways and they planned on meeting by Heejin's house by 8 in the evening. Hyunjin was alone for once and she felt... light. She didn't feel any pressure on her for once. She wasn't happy. Being without Heejin was weird and she didn't like it. She's so used having Heejin cling to her arm and look at her with such cute eyes Hyunjin can't resist. Hyunjin touched her chest and yes, she can feel a garden growing inside and she couldn't stop it. She doesn't even make an effort to make Heejin fall for her because it would be no use.  _'Heejin would never like me...'_ Hyunjin thought and sighed before entering her house. Heejin's house was just across from hers but there was the river in between so Hyunjin has to walk over to the bridge. She and Heejin used to just cross the river together and play right there. Good times.

Hyunjin called for her parents but as usual, they weren't there so she sighs once again and went to her room. It was dark and she didn't care. She didn't bother to turn the lights on. She just sat on her bed and looked at the pictures she and Heejin took together. Their Sunday 'dates' were the best. Both of them enjoy the things they do on Sundays. It's the only day where Hyunjin actually feels like she and Heejin are a couple. She wanted those Sundays to last forever but unfortunately, nothing good stays. It disappears just as fast as the sunsets they watch together. Hyunjin starts crying without even realizing it until she started coughing out blood and petals. Hyunjin covers her mouth, in hopes of holding her sobs in so now her hand was mixed with blood, flowers, and tears. It wasn't a good feeling in her mouth either.

Her chest tightened and now she actually feels pain. She was dying. She fell too deep in love with Heejin. The garden inside her was growing so fast and she couldn't stop it. Hyunjin clutched her chest and fell on the floor.  _'Damn, I'm pathetic...'_ Hyunjin thought and laughed through the pain. Hyunjin laughs, and cries. She couldn't stop the tears from coming out and the flowers wouldn't stop either. She was... helpless.  _'I just want to stay with Heejin... Even if I die this young, let me stay by her side for a little more...'_ Hyunjin thought and the growth of the garden inside stops growing for a minute and she calms down. Hyunjin ran to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She was a mess. Her clothes were soaked with blood and damn, she looked like she just committed a crime. 

Hyunjin ended up taking a shower and once she got changed and was ready to head out, Heejin was already waiting by her front door, she seemed to be texting somebody. Hyunjin smiled bitterly when she saw who Heejin was talking to through texts. It was the guy Heejin liked, from their school. As Hyunjin reached for the doorknob, her chest tightened once again and she paused for a minute to think. What will happen if she opens this door? Can her heart take this? She can't risk getting caught by Heejin. The bunny loving girl would go insane as soon as she sees Hyunjin coughing out flower petals. And Hyunjin would be sent to the hospital to get a treatment for her disease. Hyunjin doesn't want that. She wants to die with Heejin in her memory. That's the only way she can still be 'with' Heejin when she dies.

 **"Hyunjin?"** Heejin asked, peeking from the window with a goofy grin. Hyunjin smiled and walked out the door. Heejin then jumps down and hugged Hyunjin, surprising the taller girl.  **"I waited for you."** Heejin whispered, snuggling closer. Hyunjin looked around and blushed before wrapping her arms around Heejin's waist. They were hugging for a while until Heejin reached for Hyunjin's hand and just started running towards the bridge that connects them to the other side. Then they stopped at the bridge, exhausted. Hyunjin felt the pain in her chest again as she covers her mouth. She coughed a little and when she saw blood in her hand, she had to think quick. She wiped her hand on her black pants and acted like nothing happened.

 **"I have something to tell you."** Heejin said, blushing. Hyunjin stays still, staring at her. She didn't know what she was anticipating. She wasn't even thinking of anything.  **"Earlier, after school, before we went to that restaurant with our friends! The guy I like talked to me and,"** Heejin looked down on the ground and she blushes. Hyunjin started shaking as she waited for Heejin to continue.  **"He asked me out."** Heejin said, looking up at Hyunjin with a smile. Hyunjin felt the garden in her chest growing in an alarming rate and then Heejin continued,  **"And I said yes."** Heejin happily announced. As the garden grew bigger, thorns got in there as well and it was  _killing_ Hyunjin. The taller girl was trying her best to not show any signs of pain right there so she smiles.

 **"Wow, congratulations, Heejin. I'm... I'm happy for you."** Hyunjin said, she was close to crying and her voice actually cracked while saying those words. Heejin smiled brightly and hugged Hyunjin once again. Hyunjin wanted to cry  _right there_ but she had to stay strong. She won't die because her crush got together with someone else. She'll die because she didn't get to be with her crush. That's how she'll die. After that moment, they went to Heejin's house and Hyunjin immediately rushed to the bathroom to throw up all the things she had to. Blood and whole flowers were filling the toilet and Hyunjin tried her best not to make a sound when the thorns inside her hurting her. She didn't want Heejin to worry. A little after all of that, the others arrived and the party started.

* * *

 

Their little party finally came to an end and it was time to sleep. Yeojin and Choerry were already fast asleep. Gowon and Olivia were just going to sleep. Hyunjin couldn't sleep at all while Heejin was doing her homework in the kitchen. Hyunjin can feel herself getting weaker and weaker as minutes pass by and she knew that she was going to die because of the great depression she was feeling. 

 **"Why don't you just tell her?"** Olivia asked. She had to make sure that Gowon was asleep before talking to Hyunjin about her feelings. Hyunjin looked at Olivia with a surprised expression,  **"Y-You knew?"** Hyunjin asked. Olivia sat beside her and looked out the window, staring at the moon,  **"I was late to catch up but yeah, I know that you like Heejin."** Olivia said. Hyunjin was thankful for the fact that Olivia didn't know that she had the Hanahaki disease. Even though Olivia may look mean, she still cares for her friends and she will not waste any time sending Hyunjin to the hospital if she finds out about Hyunjin's... condition.  **"I'll ask again, why don't you just tell her?"** Olivia asked, now looking straight at Hyunjin's eyes. Hyunjin flinched and sighed,  **"She has a boyfriend now."** Hyunjin said. Olivia's eyes widened a little as she looked away,  **"I'm... sorry to hear that."** Olivia said. Hyunjin smiled and shook her head, patting Olivia's shoulder before laying down on the mattress they all decided to share.  **"Don't think about it too much okay? I'll go to sleep. Good night, our dear wolf."** Hyunjin said with a bitter smile before closing her eyes and drifting off to her dreamland.

Her dreamland... was everything Hyunjin hoped to be. She had everything she wanted there. It was... perfect. She wanted to stay there forever because if she wakes up, she has to face reality again. Hyunjin doesn't want to be hurt anymore. She's tired and... she just wants everything to end already.

_And good night, my dear Heejin._

* * *

While Hyunjin and the others were sleeping, Olivia decided to approach Heejin who was really focused on studying. Olivia sat across from Heejin who took off her headphones as soon as she sat down and smiled.  **"Hey, Olivia."** Heejin said. Olivia nods and she was thinking of a way on how to say  _it._ How to explain how much Hyunjin loves her. Olivia took a deep breath and just decided to go straight to the point,  **"Hyunjin loves you."** Olivia said with a poker face. Heejin stared at her for a little while and then she laughs,  **"Of course, she does... We're best friends!"** Heejin exclaims. Olivia shook her head,  **"No. She loves you more than that. Hyunjin _loves_ you, Heejin." **Olivia said and it was suddenly silent. Heejin looked at Hyunjin's sleeping figure before looking back at Olivia,  **"You're joking."** Heejin said and Olivia laughs,  **"No, I'm not."** Olivia said, glaring at Heejin. It was true. Olivia never lies about anything to anyone.

 **"Hyejoo, I think you just need to sleep..."** Heejin said, standing up and grabbing the younger girl's arm. They walked to the living room together and as Olivia lays down beside Gowon, Heejin stares at Hyunjin. Her face had 'guilt' written all over it and it was so obvious. Olivia just snuggled against Gowon and chose to sleep. Heejin swallowed and cleaned up all of her stuff before laying down beside Hyunjin. Heejin faces her and touches her face, she smiles.  **"It's all a joke, isn't... it?"** Heejin mumbled and then she fell asleep, with a heavy heart.

* * *

The next morning, Olivia was the one to wake up first of course. She had to use the bathroom to clean her face and to prepare herself for the exams that will occur later on in school. Olivia carefully gets up from her position, trying hard to not wake anybody, and goes to the bathroom. Olivia looks at herself in the mirror and then down at the toilet. She was surprised to see some flower petals lying around it and... it was weird actually. The petals were bloody as well and before Olivia woke up this morning, she heard someone throw up in the bathroom. And... before going to the bathroom herself, Hyunjin's clothes were quite bloody and she had the same petals in her hair. there was too much bloody petals around the bathroom and there was too much blood on Hyunjin's clothes and Olivia hoped that what she was thinking right now wasn't the case.

She wanted to believe that Hyunjin didn't have the worst case of Hanahaki disease. Olivia ran to Hyunjin and leaned close to her chest. Olivia knew how much Hyunjin loved Heejin and Olivia saw how pained Hyunjin was whenever Heejin was talking about the guy she liked. Olivia was focusing on finding a beat in Hyunjin's chest while the other girls were questioning her. She shut everything out and focused on trying to hear at least  _one_ beat from Hyunjin's heart but as time passed, she never heard anything. Just... nothing. Tears started pouring out from Olivia's eyes and Heejin was questioning  _everything._

 **"Hyejoo... what's wrong with Hyunjin? Why isn't she waking up? Is she sick?"** Yeojin asked, shaking Hyunjin. Olivia leaned back and cried on her own while Heejin was so lost in everything. Heejin could see the same thing: bloody petals in the toilet, blood on Hyunjin's clothes, and the flowers. Heejin leaned close to Hyunjin and whispered,  **"Hyunjin, stop it. Stop joking around. Wake up!"** Heejin said and then she put her ear against Hyunjin's chest just like Olivia did. Heejin heard the same thing Olivia did; nothing.

After finishing the puzzle, the tears finally started pouring down as Heejin held Hyunjin's motionless body close to her.  **"Hyunjin... No! Please wake up...! I'm sorry... Please... I love you... Wake up..."** Heejin sobbed. She waited for a response, a movement, or anything from Hyunjin but nothing came.

Nothing.


End file.
